Imagine this:  You’re 18 years old–an outgoing, well-liked, kinda crazy, engaging young man–when the cancer you thought you beat at age 3 returns suddenly and with a vengeance. You fight courageously through more than a year of debilitating treatments, all to no avail. The doctor tells you to put your affairs in order because you only have a few short months to live.

So, what do you do now?

If you’re Ethan Mills of Tempe, AZ you hold the biggest, baddest “phat-est” going away party ever!  On May 22, with the support of family, friends and neighbors (the “Hood”) the local church’s ball field became a “no cry zone” complete with inflatable moon walks, a water slide, pinatas, tons of food and a tent where people were encouraged to write memory letters to Ethan. Attendees received free commemorative “Go Big or Go Home” t-shirts; live bands played…and Ethan  spoke, expressing his gratitude to the 600+ gathered friends, caregivers and loved ones for all they had done for him throughout his journey.

I’ve had the privilege of knowing this young man’s amazing family for more than 25 years.  Ethan’s life, regardless of his physical condition, was marked with refreshing, relentless joy. He had a choice, and he chose to live in faith-filled optimism rather than  learned helplessness.  “Death is not a bad thing and I am not scared of it,” wrote Ethan on his Facebook page: “God will either heal me, or call me home, and I am very content with both of those so please do not be sad or worried about me. “

What was the impact of that joy-filled life?  A major Phoenix newspaper reported the story of Ethan’s Big Phat Party; it was later picked up by several TV stations and somehow made its way to CNN.  Thousands of on-line comments poured in from around the globe; most were about how this young man’s courage inspired them, healed them and gave them hope for themselves or a loved one….even though they had never met face-to-face.

Ethan died just 18 days after the party. The church was packed to the rafters for his funeral and included many who didn’t know him personally but came anyway to honor his short but courageous life.

Some people show us how to live well; other show us how to die well. In his brief stay on this planet, Ethan’s choice for optimism showed us both. Thank you, St. Ethan of the Hood…we will miss your contagious joy!